I'm grieving — What are you going through?

What Jesus teaches

Direct
Summary of Matthew 5:5
He called those who mourn blessed, because they will be comforted.

What Christian tradition learns from this

Scripture

Paul tells Christians that they grieve, but not like those who have no hope.1 Thessalonians 4:12–13

Church teaching

The Church believes that death does not break the communion between the living and the dead: we can pray for those who have died, and they can pray for us. CCC 958 CCC 1032

Church teaching

In the light of Christ's death and Resurrection, Christian death has a meaning: it is a passage, not an end. CCC 1010 CCC 1681

What Jesus did

Jesus wept
John 11:32–36
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What Jesus experienced
The death of his friend Lazarus, and the tears of Mary and of everyone around her.
What Jesus did
He was deeply moved, asked where they had laid him, and wept.
What Jesus said
“And Jesus wept.”
John 11:35 · Douay-Rheims 1899 American Edition
Martha's complaint
John 11:17–27
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What Jesus experienced
A grieving friend telling him honestly: if you had been here, my brother would not have died.
What Jesus did
He did not rebuke her. He promised life stronger than death, and asked her whether she believed.
What Jesus said
“I am the resurrection and the life”
John 11:25 · Douay-Rheims 1899 American Edition
The widow of Nain
Luke 7:11–17
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What Jesus experienced
A widow walking behind the body of her only son.
What Jesus did
Moved with compassion, he spoke to her first — and then gave her son back to her.

What Scripture doesn’t tell us

There is no timetable for grief, and faith doesn't mean you should feel better quickly. If the pain becomes unbearable, or you find yourself not wanting to live, please talk to someone today.

Someone who walked this road

Martha of BethanyScripture
Martha brought her grief and her disappointment to Jesus without pretending — and heard his promise of resurrection.
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Our Lady of SorrowsPopular devotion
Mary stood at the foot of the Cross and saw her son die. Christians have long turned to her as a mother who knows grief.
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Saint Augustine of HippoEarly Christian source
Augustine describes in his Confessions how he wept for his mother Monica after her death, and how he prayed for her.
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Pray

Lord Jesus, you wept at your friend's tomb. You know this loss. Hold N. in your mercy, and hold me in my sorrow, until the day when you wipe away every tear. Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord. Amen.

Written for Lumen as a simple personal prayer — not a liturgical text.

One thing to do today

Light a candle, or visit the grave, say the person's name and pray: Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord. You can also ask your parish to offer a Mass for them.